Once again, I found myself curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably. This was a routine that had become all too familiar. My workdays were filled with microaggressions, gaslighting, and constant bullying. What was once a position where I was valued as a strategic thought partner had become a series of menial tasks that left me feeling unfulfilled. Every day, I wrote emails for my boss, ordered food for the breakroom, or sat in meetings where my contributions were blatantly ignored.
I used to be filled with energy, ambition, and the drive to achieve big dreams. I believed in myself and my ability to accomplish anything. I was fearless and bold, unafraid to take on any challenge that came my way. But now, I felt like a shell of my former self. I was numb, angry, and completely drained. How had I ended up here?
The answer was simple – I had lost sight of my true self and allowed my career to slip out of integrity. Throughout my career, I made compromises that took me further away from my core values. I found myself chasing after swanky titles and money, losing sight of my peace and joy in the process. It was time to rediscover who I was and what truly mattered to me.
"Integrity is the courage to be true to ourselves and our values." - Martha Beck
What is Integrity?
For most of us, integrity means acting with the right intentions, even when no one is around to see it. However, this powerful word encompasses so much more. According to Dr. Martha Beck, integrity means "being whole and undivided, living in accordance with your deepest values and convictions." This definition is more than just an epiphany – it's a life-changing realization. It's like the sun shining through the clouds after months of rain or feeling the sand between your toes on the first day of your beach vacation. Suddenly, everything became more apparent. I knew precisely how I got here and what I needed to do to return to my authentic self.
How do you slip out of integrity:
Let's delve deeper into Beck's definition of integrity. Integrity means "being whole and undivided." This implies that you remain true to yourself, no matter what environment you find yourself in or who you're surrounded by. Most of us fail to show up as our authentic selves daily. Can you say that you show up as your true self, at work, every day?
The truth is, most of us feel the need to put on a facade or pretend to be someone else just to fit in or be accepted by our coworkers. This can be difficult, especially since different environments may require different facades. Every mask you adopt the more disconnected from your true self you become.
The second part of the definition is "living in accordance with your deepest values and convictions." This section is where things get real. Every time you decide against your core values, you move further away from your true self. Even small things that seem insignificant initially can cause the most regret and suffering later. It all starts with the little white lies we tell ourselves.
Are you spending most of your time doing things you enjoy? Are you able to be your authentic self at work? Or are you using all of your energy to get through the day while telling yourself little white lies such as:
I have no other choice but to suck it up.
Work isn't supposed to be fun; it’s work.
I can never make a living doing what I love.
I make a lot of money, so I shouldn't complain.
I can't control the hostile environment, so I'll keep my head down and get my work done.
Before you know it, you are in a career that feels more like a burden than living out your purpose.
The Career Impact of Not Being in Alignment
If any of this sounds familiar, I hate to be the one to tell you, but you have slipped out of integrity with yourself. It will be a struggle when your career does not align with your true self. You will experience unnecessary roadblocks and challenges. You will feel depleted rather than invigorated. Some other symptoms could be:
Lack of motivation and fulfillment: Feeling demotivated and unfulfilled can negatively impact your performance and contribution. It can also lead to a sense of purposelessness and, eventually, burnout.
Increased Stress: Experiencing heightened stress levels is common when your career path does not align with your authentic self. This dissonance can trigger anxiety and leave you feeling unfulfilled, as though you are not reaching your full potential.
Difficulty establishing genuine connections: To grow and succeed professionally, it is crucial to form genuine bonds with colleagues and clients. However, this can be difficult without fully embracing who you are.
Health problems: Chronic stress and anxiety can cause various health issues, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and depression.
Poor work-life balance: Struggling with work-life balance can result from a career that doesn't align with your true self. This imbalance can cause burnout and other personal and professional issues.
"When you are in alignment with yourself, everything else falls into place." - Unknown
HOW DO YOU GET BACK IN ALIGNMENT?
Creating a career that is in alignment with your integrity can be a daunting task, but it is possible. The key is to identify what values and principles are most important to you and seek opportunities aligning with those beliefs. Creating a career that aligns with your integrity is crucial for personal fulfillment and long-term success. Here are a few tips to help you get started:
Identify your values and priorities: Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you in life and work. This will help you identify the careers and companies that align with your values.
Explore your interests: Consider what you enjoy doing in your free time. What are you good at? What skills do you have that could be valuable in a career? Are there any careers that would allow you to pursue these interests? Identifying your strengths can help you find career paths that are a good fit for you.
Be honest with yourself: If you find that your current job or company is not aligned with your integrity, be honest with yourself about whether you can make the necessary changes to align your work with your values. If not, it might be time to consider a new opportunity.
Speak up: Once you've identified your values and priorities, don't be afraid to speak up and advocate for yourself in the workplace. This can help you build a career that is more meaningful and fulfilling.
Research potential employers: Before applying for a job, research the company's values, mission, and culture. This will help you determine whether the company is aligned with your values and priorities.
Ultimately, creating a career that aligns with your integrity requires a deep commitment to yourself and your values. It may not be easy, but it is worth it. When you are living a life that is true to who you are, you will feel a sense of fulfillment and purpose that cannot be found in any other way. So take the time to explore your options and find a career that allows you to be the best version of yourself.
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