Recently, I was conversing with an employee who was frustrated with how her colleagues treated her. She didn’t feel she was part of the team and expressed concerns that her workload was heavier than her peers. Her colleagues' derogatory tones were creating a hostile environment for her and taking a toll.
I listened intently as she said she believed it was because she doesn’t interact with them and talk about her private life. “This was my right,” she said. “I don’t believe that I should have to share my personal life with the people I work with. And I shouldn’t be treated any differently.”
As I listened, I couldn’t help but see the striking similarities between her and my younger self. At one point, I also felt this way and was adamant about keeping my work and personal life separate. I couldn’t help but think if she realized that some of the tension she was experiencing was self-induced.
No one deserves to be disrespected for any reason. I have a zero-tolerance for this. However, if you choose to take this stand in the workplace, you will be treated differently. Why? Because people will gravitate toward the people they like. People will tend to like people with similar interests and whom they can connect with. The more walls you put up, the more distant those around you will be. Slowly but surely, you will find yourself not being invited to lunch or being left out of the happy hour email chain. Before you know it, you will find yourself on the outside looking in. And the people on the inside will be the ones who get tapped for the stretch assignments and promotional opportunities.
So how do you set boundaries and not sabotage your career? Let’s first look at why boundaries are important.
WHY ARE BOUNDARIES IMPORTANT
Maintaining healthy relationships and promoting personal growth at work requires setting boundaries. Boundaries enable individuals to establish their needs, desires, and limitations while respecting others. With boundaries, trust and security in the workplace can become easier to establish.
Boundaries also prevent burnout and maintain emotional and mental well-being. By setting clear boundaries, individuals can communicate their expectations and avoid being taken advantage of or overwhelmed. Ultimately, boundaries are vital for establishing healthy relationships and maintaining personal autonomy in the workplace.
TYPES OF BOUNDARIES
You can set many types of boundaries to ensure you strike the right balance and have the time to focus on the things that are fulfilling.
Time Boundaries: Establishing time boundaries in your work schedule to ensure a healthy work-life balance is important. Setting limits on when you can work or take on new projects can help you avoid burnout and maintain productivity. For instance, you may choose to avoid working on weekends or after a certain time in the evening, depending on your personal preferences and commitments. Setting these boundaries allows you to prioritize your well-being and maximize your working hours during the week.
Communication Boundaries: Establishing clear communication boundaries with your colleagues is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Deciding when, how, and what you communicate with them is essential. For instance, you can set specific times during the day for checking and responding to work emails. You may decide not to talk about certain personal matters with your colleagues.
Task Boundaries: You may establish clear boundaries by managing your tasks and projects. It's important to carefully evaluate each opportunity and determine whether it aligns with your expertise and values. If a project falls outside of your expertise or goes against your beliefs, it may be best to decline the opportunity respectfully. By doing so, you can focus your energy on the projects that are best suited for you and that resonate with your core values.
Social Boundaries: To create a strictly professional relationship in the workplace, you may decide to limit your social interactions with colleagues. You may choose not to attend happy hours or other events outside of work. You may restrict who can access you via your personal phone number or social media accounts. Employees can ensure that their work relationships remain respectful and productive by maintaining professional boundaries.
HOW YOUR BOUNDARIES CAN DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD
While setting boundaries can be important for maintaining personal autonomy and healthy relationships, it can also have negative implications in certain situations.
Setting personal boundaries can cause conflict and tension with others who don't understand or respect them.
Setting boundaries at work can be perceived as unfriendly or uncooperative by colleagues or managers.
It may result in missed opportunities for networking or career advancement.
Strict boundaries could also lead to feelings of isolation or disconnection from the workplace culture.
They require significant emotional energy and can be difficult to maintain consistently.
HOW TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES AND PROPEL YOUR CAREER
To effectively manage these potential consequences and maintain boundaries at work, consider the following tips:
Openly and respectfully communicate with coworkers and managers about your boundaries and why they matter to you. Communicate your work hours and availability for taking on extra tasks with your boss and coworkers. If you have personal responsibilities, let your team know in advance.
Identify your most important tasks and focus on those first. Politely decline or ask to postpone any additional work that doesn't align with your priorities. Negotiate compromises and seek solutions that work for everyone involved.
Be mindful of personal topics you share with colleagues and consider alternative ways to socialize with them, such as lunch instead of happy hour. You don’t have to tell your whole life story, but a little glimpse into who you are will go a long way.
If you are adamant about the separation of church and state, you must have a strategy to ensure your career isn’t derailed. Consider changing organizations if it aligns with your career goals or establishing mentors outside the organization.
Maintaining a work-life balance is essential, but it is crucial to manage boundaries appropriately to prevent any negative impact on your career. Being too inflexible with boundaries can limit opportunities for collaboration and networking with colleagues. On the other hand, not setting appropriate boundaries can lead to reduced productivity, lack of focus, and even burnout from overworking. Achieving a balance that aligns with your goals and communicating your boundaries respectfully is vital in your professional life. Setting boundaries in the workplace is not just about personal well-being but also contributes to career success. You can absolutely maintain boundaries and have a successful career.
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